By: Heartbreak Ace
Imagine your life as a man is going along perfectly. You have the girl of your dreams, your chosen career or educational route is unfolding nicely. All is well and you have a clean bill of health. For the average man this sounds like the good life, exactly what one would want right? Now on the other hand, imagine if one of those factors were removed, not just any one, but THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. Whether it be through breakup, divorce, separation, death, or any other reason. The removal of this one key factor can have some life changing effects on the Men they happen to. As a man who has experienced this particular heartbreak, I took the time to document my day to day feelings as well as my will to continue on through my daily activities. Before I get to that let me give a little back story.
I was 18 at the time, fresh out of high school, when I met a woman who was fairly older than me. Who, at the time, I didn’t know would be the one to teach me some of the hardest lessons in my life. Following school, I was set up to attend a pretty good institution of higher learning. But as months passed leading up to my departure, this woman and I grew closer and fell into what some would say is love. So much so, that I decided to change my college of choice to stay closer to her. It’s always in the beginning of relationships when you can only see the positives, which causes you to make decisions that you later come to realize you probably should have further thought out. My relationships with friends dwindled, some not so much because of growing apart, but more so because I CHOSE to put all my time and efforts into my relationship. Over the course of about 3 years, my relationship with this woman continued to blossom. We moved in together, we shared a car, etc. I was certain that marriage was our next step.
Then, for me the unthinkable happened. The woman, who had given me so many good feelings, told me that she no longer wished to be in a relationship with me. Needless to say, I was crushed. I couldn’t understand what had went wrong and why now all of a sudden I had to deal with not having the woman that I thought was perfect for me. When a relationship is going well, one never notices just how much their happiness has become dependent on their significant other. Following the breakup, I moved out of our apartment, let her keep the car out of anger, and basically moved back to my original home to start over. My recovery to this issue was a process, because my trust level for the opposite sex had gone out the window and for good reason. For months I entertained numerous females in order to drown out the anger I felt, but it was to no effect. One day I woke up and said to myself, “That’s it!” and it was that day that my life changed forever.
I found the key to breakup recovery, which can save any Man from those feelings that I had no choice but to face. With these simple steps, I believe gentleman everywhere could have an approach established in order to neutralize these feelings.
In situations of this caliber, one must face the harsh TRUTH. The truth is that for whatever reason there’s a very real chance that you and this woman may never be together again. I tell you this not to upset you, but to help you exhale and maybe have that final cry so that when you’re done, you’re done. Accepting reality is the key to this method, because one must understand that life is incredibly short and as far as I know we only get one chance at this. Imagine the time wasted on being heartbroken, this step is a lot easier said than done and may take some time, but it’s important you tackle these realities at your own pace. I’m not saying reconciliation isn’t possible, but I am saying one must make himself content with every possibility.
Directly following my “wake up call” I decided it was time for a change. I began visiting the gym regularly and eating better, I decided I wanted to try something new with my hairstyle, and I also acquired a new job. All of these things assisted me in feeling better about myself, as well as helped me keep my mind off of the feeling of sadness I felt. This step is a little tricky, because for gentleman who lost their woman to cheating, separation, or divorce, you must make sure that your motives behind this are pure. By this I mean you’re attempting to better yourself for YOURSELF, not to try to win the girl back or to try and impress her. Because after all, as a Man you have to be pleased with yourself before you can ever truly please a women.
When facing a tough situation like this, the average person tends to find comfort in vices that may become harmful if done in excess. Smoking, Drinking, Gambling, and Drug use to name a few are things one should avoid when dealing with their emotions, because what most don’t understand is when you’re emotional, you’re no longer rational and “moderation” usually goes out the window and people find themselves drowning their sorrows in their negative hobbies as an escape. The end result is usually long term use due to emotional instability, and the feeling of a mental addiction. E.G. (One only feels happy when using these vices, which results in the associated NEED to use them.)
This is the Final and most important step, but the easiest, because it should come naturally. As a child, how do you get over losing your favorite toy? You replace it with a cooler, more modern toy. Not to say woman are playthings LOL, but I found it completely helpful to my situation to spend time with other woman quite often. There’s no point of sitting around wasting away while the person you’re sad about is doing whatever, with whomever. The key here is to Adapt. There is no harm in dating or having a few one night stands here and there. And who knows, in doing this you may find a Woman who’s everything you ever wanted, even more so then the one you gave up.
Upon completing these steps, you as a man should not only feel a form of relief, but you should also feel as if you’ve regained control of your situation. The level of stress and anxiety should have subsided, and your thinking patterns should be a lot clearer. I’m aware that all people are different and will have different reactions and results, but EVERY person, in order to move forward, must be willing to Adapt.